I've been over this well over a thousand times in my head, how in the world was I going to restart this whole thing off, after all this blog is mostly for my thoughts and not much else. I know that there have been those that have read this and the past stories that I wrote on here. However each time that I seem to start this off, it seems to keep starting off as a false start. Basically I would start it, write something down, didn't matter what it was, and then I would kill the document and then just kill my writing program never actually putting anything down.
Now for me, it's been a few years since I actually wrote anything for this one and put anything down. Hell pretty much almost gave up on the writing considering that with the exception of one of them, all the rest of my inspiration has left. It's not like I don't know where they went, believe me I know exactly where they went, it's just that one of them I'm wondering if I even had in the first place.
You see for each person that happens to be a writer, there's always one thing that helps them and keeps them going, for a few it's that one place that they love to travel to in order to be able to find that peace to be able to write, however for most, it happens to be that certain someone that happens to be the one that is needed in order to be able to write. I'm actually one of the mixed types, I have those places that I go to in order to be able to find peace, however at the same time I need that certain someone in order to bring that help to me as well.
For me, that's where this story starts up. You see I had that certain someone, or at least I thought that I did, turned out that I was wrong and didn't even know it. I'm a science fiction writer, and I get a lot of my inspirations from what's around me and what I tend to watch, which for me lately I've been doing more watching than paying attention to what's around me. Don't get me wrong I do pay attention to what's around me, however in a writers sense I've been out of it for a little while. So it's because of this that I haven't been able to write for a while, I need that special someone in my life, and I don't have her, not like I thought I had.
Look for me, there's only ever been what I call two lightening strikes. What that is, is someone that comes into your life and the moment that you see them it's like lightening just hits you. Yes some would call it love at first sight, and others something else, however for me it's only ever hit twice. Both times I knew it, but in the end there was nothing that I could do to be with them at all. Plus both times had been when I was a kid in school, and both times it was a girl that I was too shy to ever approach. Yeah I know idiotic, but that's part of my life problem.
You see back then I was shy, it wasn't that I couldn't talk to a girl, believe me I had them as friends, however once my mind crossed that line, that's when things changed for me. Basically when I saw a girl as something more, then I got tongue tied and couldn't say anything, even when I was talking to them and wanted to ask them out in the first place it was extremely hard for me to do that. Even to this day I've still got that problem, for some reason I can't actually put anything into words, at least speech wise, however I can write everything out. Sure that's me, being right next to a girl and having to text everything out because I can't put ANYTHING into words, typical of me. Of course my problem is that I've never done that before, but I do know if it ever did happen, that's the only way that I could actually ever ask a girl out.
Anyway, back to the two girls. The first one, EVERYONE knew I had a thing for her, it was that obvious. However she was dating a guy that I thought to be a complete idiot, but I couldn't say anything on the matter, I didn't think that she would believe me at all. Years later it turned out that I was correct in my thinking. Personally I never got on her radar and I honestly wish that I had, all I've ever wanted was that one chance, only problem is these days I'm still as shy I was back then so no help there on that note. Personally I actually would like the chance to go out with her, even if it's only for one date, but considering that she's married and the guy could kick my ass, that's a bit of a problem there. However she can also kick my ass considering that she and her husband both is martial artist, a sport that I have extremely great respect for. However if I got that one chance, believe me it would not only be amazing, but for me it would be life changing as well. Now what we would do on that date, I've not a bloody clue, but I do think that it would be interesting to say the least. I think for the most part it would be a walk through a park that I happen to love since it's the closest that I can actually get to being in the forest, and believe me it would be serene. Hell just being with her any place would be serene. However for part of that first date would be there.
Now you'll more than likely notice that I haven't said any names at all, well put a yet at the end of that, because the name will come, but not till later, at least for the first one, however the second one is not going to be put in.
This second one is the only ever other lightening strike that I've ever had in my entire life. This one here was literally just like the first; however it was a few years later. The first one happened in elementary school, back then everyone called in puppy love, and even I knew that wasn't true, it was actual love. When the second bolt hit me, I had been in junior high at the time, and this girl walked in dressed exactly the way the first one had been dressed. Both of them had been dressed as either a princess, or a bride, either way, my jaw had gone through the floor both times.
Now unlike the first time, I had been a complete idiot this time around, to the point that even her friends had gotten between her and I to make sure that I didn't ask her out, not that that was going to be an issue since I still had that problem. Suffice it to say, for this one it was a look but don't' EVER touch (yeah a look from several thousand miles away).
Anyway, without going down a bad memory lane right there, basically it was these two ladies that I had the lightening strike with and haven't had one since. I thought that I again, but it turned out that I was wrong, and even I'll admit that, but for me, it's hard to write my science fiction without that correct someone in my life.
Now the question is, will I ever get that certain someone in my life, personally I'm hoping that it's a yes, now how soon is anyone's guess. Now that first girl that I was talking about, the one that's married, I will say her original name, Amy Hughes, however I will not say her married name (and yes I do know it, but I will not put it here). I would like the chance to have one date with her, but even I know that's not going to happen, after all she's married and could kick my ass. However since this is a blog and my own personal crap, it means that it's going to stay that way.
Look I would like to keep writing in this blog, as well as the stories that I write, but let's face the truth here, even a writer needs that one thing in order to be able to keep writing, and right now I honestly don't have it right now. There will be more to this blog, but for now I figured that I would get this out there for right now.
