Just a few thoughts from today

Well today, I had gone up to a park that means a great deal to me,
considering all of the quite that happens to be there. Well as I sat
by a stream listening to the water flow by me, and reading, I kept
thinking that maybe a girl would actually walk up to me and just say
hi (yeah I know wishful thinking on my part), but I realized after a
little bit that when it comes to meeting someone, that wasn't the
place to do it. So after I moved out from there (after seeing several
people come around that were taking photos, and making me wish that I
had my own camera), I started to walk to a couple of different benches
to try to just sit down and continue reading, however shortly after I
started that I started to burn up from the sun that I had been sitting
in, so I then moved to a shaded bench and kept reading from there.

During the time that I had been reading, I saw several people when it
came to who was going to the part and what they were doing, and I
realized something, and that was that for me I wouldn't be meeting
someone there (though I did wonder if I should go meet up with a dog
walker, but then I figured that it wouldn't be right either way),
however I would be eventually bringing someone there in the first
place. Now I also realized as I was leaving there that when it came to
that special someone that I would like to meet eventually, that
despite what I had figured out and what I had been told, that the one
that I would eventually meet would actually come either way. I know
that I shouldn't look for her, but the thing of the matter is, I can't
stop looking, it's in my nature to constantly look and to be
constantly curious on everything till I learn about what it happens to
be (meaning anything) and then move onto the next thing. I know that's
hard to believe, but in a way it's also very true as well. So I'm
guessing that between now and the time that the vision comes true,
that I'll be meeting that special girl in my life, though in all
honesty with how fast my mind happens to work, I really do wish that
it would be sooner rather then later.

By the way, if I can't have my party at the place that I'm hoping to
go for, then I will still have it but just at a different location
instead. However everyone is still invited to come when it comes to
the party, though I still am predicting that there won't be that many
people that do come if any at all. Well as a friend of mine says, "Oh
well."

Late last minute special edition: Brown at it again!!!

Now I know that everyone could see this one coming from a mile away, I know that I did (http://www.fresnobee.com/2011/03/29/2329207/jerry-brown-declares-budget-talks.html), and now that he can't get through to people up in the capital, he's going to try to by pass them and see if he can hit us with his stupidity. Personally I'm tired of everything that he's been trying to do. I know that if what he's trying to get passed is passed (even if it's by the voters), then this state is going to be worse off then ever before. Personally I say that if he brings it before the people in an election, we shut him down cold. I'm tired of everything that he think he's doing for us, he says that he's listening to us, and yet not one person elected into that office has ever been listening to the people after they got voted into office. Recall him out of there, and put someone else in there that we know will keep listening to us even after they're in office. I'm still willing, but like I had said before, it would have to be off of donations, since I don't have the money to get it done myself.

 

By the way, next week I will not be giving the blog as early as I thought since I have to work early all next week. Just figured that I would let everyone know that.

Brown being an idiot again, a kid biking away from a gun, and possibly the next Justin Bieber

Well if it's not the state taxes that he's screwing around with, it's going to be the state's water situation, and this time he's going to be jumping the gun if he's got anything to do with it (http://www.fresnobee.com/2011/03/29/2328317/governor-expected-to-declare-end.html). It's bad enough that the Valley is always getting hurt when it comes to water right now (hell for the last several years), and I know that it's not expected to lighten up anytime soon. I mean just two years ago, we had a Federal judge come into the whole thing to take sides on what's going to be happening when it comes to the water here for the Central Valley, after all the number one thing that the Valley needs for jobs (on all levels) is the water, and it's the one thing that we're not getting at all. So to declare that the drought is over, I'm sorry but the Central Valley would seriously disagree with you on that one Brown, but then again, I still say he should be recalled out of office, however I'm not likely to see that happen any time soon at all either.

 

Now this story here that I heard about first on Alice 96.7 (http://www.myalice967.com/) about a kid that biked away from a man with a gun (http://www.fresnobee.com/2011/03/29/2328460/young-bicyclist-escapes-robbers.html), I know that it was a short story considering that they're still looking for the guy, but I have to say that the kid's got more guts then even I would I have to admit. After all, a guy points a gun at me, and believe me, not only will I be handing him the bike over, I'll be handing over anything else that he wants. After all the old saying goes "Never bring a knife to a gun fight", or in this case a bike. However he did it and I'm damned proud of him for doing something that I could never do at all.

 

This last one I'm hoping right now will go far with this kid (http://www.fresnobee.com/2011/03/29/2328519/is-ryan-beatty-the-valleys-justin.html), after all, you don't often hear about anyone from te Valley that happens to make it big any more. It's like once they get out of here, you never hear them actually talk about where they came from any more, some you do, but others just want to forget about this place, and it's completely understandable considering all of the hell that this place puts itself through day after day, and year after year. So yeah I really hope that this kid goes far.

 

I know that these aren't much, but honestly there's not that much going on in the first place, and it's not exactly like I can check something out before I get to where I post these things. Everything that I check out is done the day before, and then I write about it the next day, so like I keep saying if you happen to have something that you want me to write about, let me know.

Something I realized yesterday

Now I'm not prone to these things, at least not the way that I used to, but this one hit me hard. I had been walking to meet a friend of mine, when I started to picture something in my head, something that I realized would end up happening later on next year. What was happening was something that I'm not going to like having to wait for, but I also know that I have no other choice in the matter either, since I've learned that when it comes to something that's going to be happening, and you want to change it for what you think is the better, more often then not, it turns out that you were wrong in the first place.

 

What I had seen, was me sitting in the Student Lounge at Fresno City College next year working on my laptop when a girl comes up to me and asked what I'm working on, however the only problem that I'm going to partly have is that I'll be listening to the music on my laptop at the time while working on my book (though I really don't know if I'll be published at that time or not). Once she does at last get my attention, that's when things start to get cooking between us, at least slowly. What I realized that I was seeing was my future girlfriend, the one that I will end up getting by stopping looking in the first place. I can pine all I want, but it's not time for me to be with someone else yet, and as much as I want to try to make it other wise, I've got no choice in the matter here at all.

 

Time and again, I've seen these things happen, and when I've tried to change them, it never works out because the person that's being effected doesn't care till it happens, and they wonder how I knew in the first place. Well this one is happening to me, and as much as I would like it to be other wise, I know that there will be no other choice. I won't be meeting my new love of my life till after I start going back to Fresno City College in the fall next year. Just wish that it was other wise.

 

However when I do meet her, I know that if by that point I have gotten published, she will still be put through the test that I'm going to have her do. I already know that she'll stick with it either way, but I've got to go through the motions to make sure that she does anyway.

Rain almost out of here, and other news

Well I can say one thing for myself, I'm fully tired of the rain being here, and can't wait for it to be gone for good. Of course the problem is, I'm not in control of the weather at all, no that's up to the big guy up stairs. But it's still a pain in the butt either way.

 

The one main problem that Fresno happens to have with the rain, and we go through this every year, is that the drains for the rain, are clogged and they never get unclogged at all. No matter how many times people complain, the city here just doesn't do anything about it, always claiming that it's not in the budget at all. Well hell if they didn't redirect the budget towards their own pockets, they would have the money to actually get things done in Fresno, instead of worrying if they have the money or not when it comes to everything. Too bad even when we tell them how to be able to deal with the problem, they still don't listen in the least.

 

Now there is something that I've commented about yesterday, dealing with Abercrombie & Fitch and a product that they're now currently selling, and still continue to sell despite that parents are refusing to buy this for their kids. So no matter what they happen to call it (since they have changed the name from "Stripped push up triangle" to "Stripped triangle"), it's not only wrong, it's completely out of call as well. This is the current story on Good Morning America's web site: http://abcnews.go.com/US/abercrombie-fitch-padded-bikini-top-year-olds-parents/story?id=13236904 and personally I'm one for working on trying to get this off the market completely. It was tried once before over in Britain, but the guy pulled it from the shelf after everyone cried foul on him. However as it says in the story, this company is basically saying "Not only are we not going to pull it, you can kiss our @$$, because we'll do as we please", That's almost how it was back when the guy that ran K-Mart had said that "We're bigger the Jesus". That right there had gotten his stocks to plunge so, that Sears bought it out. Honestly I do believe that the same thing might happen if they don't change what they're doing, plus it's not a matter of if you don't buy it they won't make it. Problem is, even if you don't buy it, they will still make it because you're buying their other products, so they figure that you'll eventually buy that product as well. Personally I see that this is completely wrong, but since they happen to be bigger then me, there's no way that I can personally do anything, and I know that no one will put them into a law suit over this either.

 

Now there is something that even I find personally happy about, and it's again one that I've covered before, and it's dealing with the Nintendo 3DS. However it was covered better then I could review it (since they had the device in their hands: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/nintendo-releases-3ds-handheld-device-13231925) on the weekend edition of GMA. Like I had said before, this is something that if done right, could take the market away from Sony and the PSP BIG TIME.

 

Now as I was trying to load up the page for the 3DS, I ran into a breaking news banner dealing with the Japanese Radiation that's going on over there, and from what I had seen on there, and heard from the report, the rods from some of the damaged reactors are starting to melt, and we all know that's bad news right there. However as I watched the report I noticed that this is something that we've already been seeing and it's actually nothing new on that note, but it tells us that the Japanese are trying to keep this contained and they're not going a good job of it at all.

 

Personally I know that I'm starting to sound like a reporter there, but it's hard not to, when all you want to do is just say what you really think, and I'm thinking that the superiority of the Japanese mind set over there is going down big time since all of this happened. They really just don't know what in the world they're doing and it's being proven in spades. Yes we're trying to help them out, but honestly I'm feeling a why bother mentality when it comes to all of this, however it's then another part of my mind that ends up coming back up and saying that it really wouldn't be right if we didn't help them out. Too bad that we actually can't help them out in the area that I know that they really need the help in to begin with, and that's what I find completely messed up.

The bikini top for girls (the one on the news as of late)

Personally I didn't think that I would actually be saying anything on this, but then I realized that I had to say something, after all parents are complaining when it comes to what's been in the news as of late. The problem is that when it comes to something that comes out new and is going with the trends, it has to go with what the parents are wanting and not what the kids are wanting. Problems is, that never tends to mesh together as one.

 

Now the thing with this bikini top that's been in the news, is to me a double standard of parents, when it comes to the girls to the boys. The parents always want their daughters to remain young and not to grow up too fast, and yet when it comes to the sons, no they have to grow up fast, they're never allowed to have a childhood at all. Personally I call that a double standard, one that seriously needs to be addressed when it comes to our kids, and it's one that's been needing to get addressed for years. Boys are never allowed to cry, to men it's considered a sign of weakness (which is just bull to begin with), but girls are supposed to stay forever young, and then when they rebel, they're considered everything vile, from sluts to whores to you name it and that's wrong. Honestly if we don't let them be themselves it's going to be worse years down the line when the time comes. I hate to say this, but from what I've been seeing as I've been watching people around me, girls that are younger are appearing older and older, and yet, they're actually around 12 and 13 years old, and it's only getting worse. I mean the one thing that the article on GMA had shown (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/push-bikini-young-girls-abercrombie-fitch-markets-little-business-13231892), was kids (young girls) putting on make up, and trying to make themselves look better then the way that they were, and the thing is, we planted this all in their heads and we're currently trying to fight it like crazy, and guess what IT'S NOT WORKING!!!!

 

Now I know that normally I don't deal with a news subject on the weekend, but this here just had me seething inside because of the two-facedness that parents have for their kids when it comes to this, and no matter what we do, we're conflicting with ourselves when it comes to supporting our kids. I'm sorry to say, but we can't have it both way, it's either one way or the other, Either way, all of this will come to a head, and it's going to be bad for everyone, I know it, but I also know that who ever reads this, won't believe what I'm saying until it actually happens.

The one thing that my next love needs to realize

Now I don't know exactly who happens to read this, but I do know that aside from my friends that read this, there is one thing that even my future girlfriend should realize is that when it comes to how I tend to do things, I tend to use my imagination a lot. Of course by the time that I happen to get to the boyfriend girlfriend stage, she would already realize that to begin with. However there are going to be things, that no I won't mention them here, but they are unusual to say the least. The one thing that I had been thinking was what the reaction might be when she finds out what they happen to be, but since they don't happen to be of the norm, I have a feeling that she would be thinking like, "oh that's what you're into, that's nice, but odd at the same time." However I could be completely wrong too.

 

Now since it's been a few years (a decade this July), since I had last been with a woman, all I've ever been able to do is just think about how things were going to be like for me. Yes I do see the cute ladies around me, however the man problem that I happen to have, is that either they're wearing a ring on their finger, or if they're not, then I'm wondering if they're possibly taken as well, and it's that kind of thinking that happens to drive me completely nuts out of my mind half the bloody time. Plus with my being that extremely shy, I know that unless she came up to me and told me that she was interested in me, I would've have the courage to even go up to her and ask at all. Plus when I have gotten the courage (as I did one time back in '08) up to even ask, either they're not interested, or some other guy beat me to the punch in the first place. So either way I feel like I'm completely out of options.

 

The one thing that does tend to hurt though, is the fact that yes I am homeless, and very often, the girls tend to look down on that. So far I've not found one girl that doesn't mind being with a guy that happens to be homeless, after all they tend to think that if the guy is homeless, more often then not they're looking for the girls money and don't really care about them. Personally I'm not like that in the least, but I can't seem to get by that little pre-conceived notion at all. Plus when it comes to the ladies that happen to be already homeless, I've got a very strick rule when it comes to that, if they're in one of the following, I will not date them: 1) doing drugs, 2) smoking like crazy, 3) on medication for mental issues, or 4) happen to be far older then me. So that leaves just about all of them out.

 

Honestly I'm not interested in any of the money that the girl happens to make at all, and personally I would rather be making my own instead of relying on someone else instead, that's just how I happen to be. Problem is, you can't exactly put that up on a personals ads on-line, so in the end I end up screwed either way which doesn't happen to help in the least. Look people I really don't know what to do, and I'm honestly extremely tired of being alone. Miramonte just about abandoned me after I brought her to live with me in Norfolk, plus while I was in the Navy, she cheated on me with a guy that was also in the Navy and living a few doors down from us. So I got really screwed when she cheated on me for the first time, and then just kept cheating on me. That's the one thing that I really don't want to have to deal with again is any girl cheating on me again, once was enough, and I really couldn't put up with it again.

 

However I refuse to be like my mother when it comes to never having another relationship because a few got me burned, sorry but I have to have someone in my life, and that's just the way things are for me to begin with, that will never change at all. However I don't want her prediction to come true either, and that being that no girl will ever like me or want to be with me, and that I'll end up being married by the time that I'm 35 or older. If there is any girl that's out there that's reading this, could you please help me end this curse that I've gotten on myself. After all, it would help me for once if things actually started going my way for once, since for years, nothing has ever gone my way. I help everyone out, for which they notice me with out any problems, but the moment that I finish, that's when they stop noticing me, and that's when it starts to hurt the most. For example (and this doesn't help being homeless either), there was a group of people that came down to the mission to give slices of pizza away so that people could have something good to eat, and help their dogs out as well, and by the time that I got to the table, everything was gone, I had seen the last slice go to someone just as I was walking up. I figured that there might be something else, but there wasn't and that's what hurt the most. Like I said, nothing ever goes my way. There are other points, but it's way too long to list everything.

 

Plus the birthday is also something that I would love to once to go my way as well, the only problem is that for everyone that I've got listed on my friends list for Facebook, so far there's like only one possible coming, and beyond that 17 not attending, and awaiting replies from 73 people, and the only guest that I know attending is me. This is one day that happens to be very important to me, and there's one person that I would love to have be there the most, but I can't ever get her to respond to me or acknowledge that I exsist at all. Honestly I hate my life. :(