Now I got an e-mail from a friend of mine today (though after this posting I'm wondering how long he's going to remain a friend), concerning my posting on my love life, and I understand everything that was written to me, but I think that it's time a little understanding was also put in towards other parts of my life. So in order to do that, one must travel back in time, back to a point that certain things had started up.
After I got out of high school, my mother had kicked me out of the house (literally two days after the graduation, namely since she had been following the advice from a memory of another mother she knew that had done the same thing, only catch was that he was working a job at the time, the one thing that I didn't have back then), and I had ended up with no place to stay, so I ended up going to live with my ex and her mother at the time (at least before she became my ex, before I had even married her). So right then my life had changed and rather badly too I might add, I was forced to get another job (other then the paper route that I was working for the Martinez News Gazette). However that job (which was Payless Shoe Source) was short lived since I only worked when he had the pay for me in his budget at the time, which was like next to never. Well after that I ended up in a whorl wind of going from one job to the next and never actually able to keep one for any period of time beyond a months worth of time.
Now it was during this time that I had been wishing for the one thing that I couldn't have, because of what Miramonte had done to me (at this time she was currently pregnant with her first child that wasn't mine, and mind you like a previous entry that I put on here, I can't have kids), and that was a girl that I could be with and that would love me for me. Personally at that point I just wanted to get another job so that I could be able to keep the place that I was staying at, that however didn't happen. Namely since in October of '98, I ended up joining the Navy (it was out of lack of choice since my mother, whom I had been forced to go back to at that point, told me that it was either the military or a homeless shelter, which would've meant being out on the street period. No offence to David Furner, but the military isn't for everyone, Mind you I fully support it, but I'd rather not be apart of it, I'm more for film making then anything else now or ever). So it was after I got out of boot camp in January of '99 that I ended up marrying Miramonte (The exact date of that marriage is 01/21/1999, tell me ladies how many husbands can actually remember the exact date, or in my case the time either, Miramonte and I got married at the Justice of the Peace in downtown Martinez on that date around 2 in the afternoon), and I'm honestly wondering if that marriage had been one of the biggest mistakes of my life ever (namely since she had been telling me that she loved me, and yet kept cheating on like crazy). Well it was after I got out of the Navy in March of 2000 that things went seriously down hill from there, namely with Miramonte and I ending up homeless on the streets of Norfolk, VA (now at this point you're wondering why the Navy didn't help us out, well as of 1982, anyone that happens to join any of the military branches must serve for at least 2 years before getting any of their benefits, I lost out on that with serving only 18 months in, however I am still considered a vet either way. I just wish that I could get those benefits back, too bad that's not going to happen any time soon :( ).
So from March of 2000 to around early part of November that same year, her and I had been homeless, though she ended up hanging around other guys, and one of them actually had me put in jail for a month under a false charge of spousal abuse (which as anyone knows from high school, I couldn't hurt a fly even if I wanted to at all), which mind you she later dropped, but it was the state that picked it right up, that didn't help me out at all. I ended up getting a fine from that one that I'm still trying to get fully paid off (the fine went to collections, and has been going up in cost daily since then). So I did the one thing that I knew would help me out, I got out of Norfolk and went north to Pittsburgh, PA.
Now it was in this state that, I had come thinking that I would be ending up with someone that I'd met online, that turned out to be a fat joke. So I ended up homeless in Pittsburgh, though I did end up getting a job on the start of the new year in 2001 (a dishwasher position which doesn't seem available at all here in Fresno, namely since everyone is working their tails off making sure that they keep their jobs). Now from that point I did end up with various places to stay and only a couple of jobs (I had gone up to Oswego, NY to live with a roommate that I'd met online through a Yahoo Groups RPG game), I had gotten a job up there, but they had let me go because I couldn't get up to their speed levels (it's kinda hard when you're the only one working a huge restaurant and have got zero help and you're the rookie with everything). So that's when I went back to California, and back to living with my ex and her family (history once again comes full circle).
Now mind you at this point, Miramonte is once again pregnant with her second child (the first one was taken and adopted out in Norfolk after Miramonte lost her parental rights, namely since while I was on the ship, she had never bother to help keep the base housing house clean, I kept doing that every time that I came back home), and my world continued to be a bit off, though after what her sister Shelly had done to me (making me very jealous by showing me Miramonte being with another guy just outside the house, Shelly has always been the one that loved seeing others in pain, it brought her a huge amount of pleasure), it was her other sister Heather that I had gotten with for a short time, and she was the last one that I had been with on July 21, 2001 (and haven't been with anyone else since, though I have dreamed of it constantly). Now it was at this point that I had ended up with a job that I loved and (other then the Navy) lasted the longest, working for Toys "R" Us, that lasted till December of that same year (I also worked for Century Theaters in Pleasant Hill, which was where I was working for Toys "R" Us). However it was in December that I yet met another girl online who lived in another city, but it was thanks to what Steve Duncan had done (and mind you I was paying him rent too at the time) that ended up hurting the most for me. Steve had given me a week to find another place to live, after I couldn't get something he wanted done done in time, so he gave me a week and I figured the hell with it, I moved down to Fresno (where I'm currently at) to try to hook up with the girl that I'd met online (yeah that also didn't work out at all either, and that was only because of her family hated me right off the bat because I had met their daughter online, this is like before on-line dating became a major thing that it is today). However before the start of the new year, I did do a yo-yo shot back and forth between the bay area and Fresno. It would be Fresno however that I would end up staying in.
Now with how Fresno happens to be, all I wanted to do was to just hit the restart button on my life, the problem was two fold (or three fold), and that was the fact that beyond a high school education, I had nothing. I had no driver's licence, and my work experience didn't count for worth beans. So I went back to school with Fresno City College, and figured that I might end up with someone one at the same time that I was also going to school. The major problem that I had which I didn't want anyone to know, and I few did find out, was that I was living at the Fresno Rescue Mission (which is where I'm currently living at right now), and so no job, no place to live, and going to school, not exactly the right combo for ending up with someone. Though mind you there were plenty of girls down in the mission area, however I wouldn't get into any kind of a relationship with them even if I was getting paid for it, sorry, but they're seriously not my type at all. So I've been looking ever since, and I've gotten zero response at all, and one of the things that I figured that I could try was that once I found anyone from my high school online, that I might try to hook up with them. The only problem with that is that it would be a long distance relationship for now since I don't happen to have a car to get around in at all. However from what I'd been seeing on Facebook (that is after I join that once I learned about it), the majority of those that I had though about asking, were not only already taken, but were long married, so I lost completely out on everything. However I'm still looking.
Though there is one slight catch to finding someone, something that I'm going to do once I might end up finding that perfect balance for me, and that's put them through a test. If they are interested, and really do care about me, and love me then they'd stick through the test no matter what was called for on them. The reason for this test is because of the book that I'm going to be getting published eventually, I'm sorry but if the girl is only interested in the money that I'm making from my book, then that's going to have to end. Once I get published I will have any girl that I end up with sign a pre-nup to make sure that not only they don't cheat on me, but if they do, that they don't get one dime from me at all. Personally that's why I'm trying to find someone before that happens, that way I know that they'll love me for me and not for the money that I'd be making from the book that I'd be getting published. Still the major problem that I happen to have right now is that I'm still homeless staying at the mission, and that's not going to be able to change any time soon. :(
There is one thing that I would like for those that do read this to try and go for, it's only a 30 day challenge, but it's something that would not only open ones eyes to a world not their own, but they would learn from it as well. Now personally I would have them do this with me, but not everyone that reads this actually lives here in California with me. What the challenge happens to be is that for 30 days, that person (if they spent it with me, and I've actually got so far one person in mind to actually do this with me) to live in my world, to go through what I go through and see the world through my eyes. Now I know that they happen to have that show on ABC called "Undercover Millionaire" but that's not the same thing as what I'm suggesting here. I honestly believe that it would be best to live it with me, to go where I go, see what I see, and do almost everything that I do, and to see and experience what that world is for themselves. However it's up to whoever actually reads this.
So now you know what my world is currently like each day. Some of those that are apart of my friends list (including family) already knew what was fully going on, but not everyone and that's why I'm wanting people to do this challenge. However it's up to the person reading this to decide if they actually want to go through this challenge or not. However either way, there's only one thing left to say that is way too true: "Welcome to My World!" (literally)
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