Something that I realized

I was writing a letter earlier today to someone that's going to be getting a really big letter, and I realized as I was writing up my past history for this person that I did have my first love and never realized it and the problem is, I didn't realize it till years later when it came to this person either. So many years that I constantly screwed up and it turns out that deep down that I did have feeling for her. Now I know that you're wanting me to give her name like I've done for others that I've talked about, but this time I'm not going to be doing that since I'm actually talking to her right now about something as well, and well this is just my musings on the whole matter, I know that I haven't done something like this before, but I realized that when it comes right down to it for her, that she actually is the one.

 

I say that she happens to be the one since not only is she built the way that I like, she doesn't hold anything against me and understands where I'm coming from on everything, and would actually love to help me out if she could. Personally I would love to be closer to her, but I also know that that's not going to happen, at least not unless she was to go for it herself. Namely considering my lack on income and being homeless, which she happens to know about both. Thing is is that if I had actually gotten up the damned courage years ago, I do honestly believe that I would be with her today, and that I would not have married my bitch of an ex Miramonte Turley (the one that honestly doesn't believe in marriage only cheating, sex and having tons of kids that are constantly taken from her, yes I said all that and not only am I not drunk (since I can't drink in the first place), but I'm extremely pissed off at her and will be for quite some time to come).

 

Look I will be letting the one that I'm writing about, know about this posting, I just hope that she won't mind it in the least about it. There are other things about her, but I'm wanting to talk about those things with her, and for right now not post them.