Yesterday I saw something that I honestly hadn't seen in years, it was a photo of my entire high school class from back in '97, and I noticed how much we had all changed. Though mostly not a physical way, and personally I figured that with the current level of net tech that's out there that it would be far easier to keep up with them, yeah that was a mistaken idea. No what I had discovered over the years from the graduating from high school and then going off to see the world (instead of going right into college) is that a lot of things from what they told us, wasn't exactly the way they said it would be, but that's understandable. Even though our world didn't change while we had been in school, the outside world did change, and it's been way too many years since we had left. So while old hurts have healed over, others have not and that's only because the truth isn't know to those people (though I would love for it to be).
So through this I can finally at lost last tell everyone what I've actually seen out there, and believe me it's a lot. One of the things that I've learned (which I know that they never wanted us to know in school, which to me kinda seemed like sheltering a person that shouldn't be sheltered), is how much this country happens to be into everything sexual and yet they want to clearly deny what they're actually doing. Personally I can understand that, even though I had been sheltered when I was young (my mother didn't want me to start having any kind of sex till I was 35, yeah that didn't turn out as planned), but after I got out, then I took the chance that had been denied and started to check out everything that I could (of course the only things that I stayed away from were anything gay (since I'm not), and eventually interracial) everything else I check out through the net, and had discovered that there was some that I did happen to like (grand total of three with one that I find very interesting but will never do) though for me the only one that will ever find out what those happen to be now, is and will only be the one that I end up with for life (which doesn't include my ex Miramonte Turley at all). Personally for me when it comes to the sexual world around us, all I'm able to do is see what it's like through the net and through other people, except for a very short time (namely at the beginning of my failed marriage) I actually got to feel what that world was like. However I'm currently 32 years old and the last time that I had even been with someone was July 21, 2001 (and that was my ex-sister-in-law). Beyond that, thanks to my being constantly hyper all the time, I don't ever get to find out what that world is like, I can only see it. Personally I would love to actually get to experience it once again, but even I know that's not going to happen any time soon at all, even before my 33rd birthday coming up. I'm alone here in the city of Fresno, CA, with no one close at all. So as much as I would like to change that, even I know that's not going to be changing any time soon :(
However this is only the first part of a multi-part deal that I'm going to be writing up here, and yes sex will come up often, though for those that would think of this as a pity party, think of this as a place that I can finally say something and hopefully someone will not only understand, but would also be willing to comment on it as well. After all, the guy that created Facebook was drunk out of his mind when he blogged about a girl that had just broken up with him. Me, I'm just writing a book for everyone to read.
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